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I have had loads of counselling, both individual and group, which I still do every fortnight on a social basis, meeting up with what are now old friends. I have had a chat with a mental nurse, who deals with grieving, and she tells me it may go on for another year. Life must go on and me with it. At my age there isn't enough time to be sitting on my hands, so just grin and bear it. Anyway, thanks folks for your kind input.

Edited by colonel

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May I add my condolences on your loss. I, like most of the other contributors, would urge you not to make any decision whilst you are still grieving. Grief is a very personal journey and it's unique for everyone. It will take time to "move on" and only you will know when that is. When you can spend time away in your van and you feel positive about making new memories, that will be the time for you to decide to change your caravan.

 

Your family and friends are a wonderful network who are there for you. I relied on my own network when my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. I struggled to deal with that big time and my family network were a god send for me and still are, and I hope yours are for you too. Take your time and all the best going forward.

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I just had a week at Warwick Racecourse, which I enjoyed. The snag is, that I was that tired upon my return, that it took me two days to unhitch, park van and unpack as my own cancer medication makes me very tired. A VW T6 camper has started build.

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I would like to give you some sensible advice but I don't know you, so in general here's my twopennyworth. You are still grieving and only time will help that, you have cancer that I'm assuming here, that it's under control with meds, but that has side effects, probably depression and fatigue being two of them. You are trying to get on with life, but your wife was your other half who was a great part of your life and you are missing her dreadfully. You still enjoy touring and you are trying to find an easy way of doing it. So lets start from here, when you come home all you need to do is secure the 'van and take home any fresh food and meds. Tomorrow, take out anything that has to be laundered and then put it back ready for the next trip. Next day get the 'van ready for the next trip, then organise said trip. At the site you need to level, electric, gas, water, put the kettle on. later, toilet, TV. If you're not feeling too good ask for help, most of us are a friendly bunch. I hope you carry on enjoying your trips, we meet quite a few singles now of all ages. I hope I haven't been too cheeky.

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Joanie. ..nice sympathetic and realistic reply. I know of one man who suffered just as the OP, his wife said to him a short while before the end " make sure you go on all the rallies we booked"......he didn't want to,but did, and finished the year changing to a small motorhome and booking up for the following year too.

 

Even posting here is therapy amongst friends and is free.

 

geoff

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Thank you for all your friendly advice (Joanie not being cheeky). I did go out a few times last year, even stewarded a THS that we had booked which I enjoyed. I am fine when out, it's just the process of going and returning that I can't be bothered to do so I am hoping to improve that. The VW will even replace my car so that will be a start. Thanks again, you are all appreciated.

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Borrowed a VW the other week and enjoyed it. Today I took delivery of a newly converted VW T6 and it is so smart. Can't wait to get out. Here's hoping.

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Talking of T5/T6 campers,where's Kernowlad?

I think he was banned after upsetting a moderator.

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Are you going for long or short wheelbase?Hope it works out well for you. Must admit there's something special about the VWs. There were about half a dozen T4/5/6s on the field we were on last weekend.

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Hi Colonel, I have caravanned for over 40 years with my wife and can understand your position.

I usually do all the "outside" stuff whilst she does the "inside". If she were not with me I really don't know how I would go on. Why don't you print a A4 size sign to put up in the window saying that any help offered would be gratefully received? It worked for someone I know and it also will help you make new friends.

Best wishes for the future, hope all goes well with the V. Dub. .......Peter

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It's a lovely vehicle and I've had it pimped. Diesel Heater, 100w solar panel, two leisure batteries, Fiamma wind out awning, underslung gas tank,an electric entrance step,had the bed changed to one that accommodates a porta potty and two single revolving front seats. There have been other minor tweeks to suit me. This had better work, but I am keen to get away.

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It's a lovely vehicle and I've had it pimped. Diesel Heater, 100w solar panel, two leisure batteries, Fiamma wind out awning, underslung gas tank,an electric entrance step,had the bed changed to one that accommodates a porta potty and two single revolving front seats. There have been other minor tweeks to suit me. This had better work, but I am keen to get away.

Great job Colonel - now just get out there and enjoy. Please keep us informed of your progress. Take care.

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Latest news. Just been up my local as it's pie night. Been out in the VW a few times and am catching the breakfast time ferry from Poole in the morning, en route to Normandy and friends. Must go, shower and bed beckon for a few hours.

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Enjoy. ..

 

geoff

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Have a good time and wave to my sister for me as you go through Poole :)

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Back again. Enjoyed it. Met people I had not seen for years. Did not do any touring because I have been there five times before, just loafed about, went out for lunch and went to a barbeque. Looking at the latest DFDS offers, I am now considering a return to France next month. I am stewarding on a ths in Darley Dale in a couple of weeks time. VW brilliant and as I felt unwell on the return trip (tired as been up all day) so I pulled in to a layby, got the bed out and the pillows and got my head down. The joys of a camper van.

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Sounds like you've found what works for you,which is what it's all about. Out of interest,is it a long or short wheelbase VW?

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Back again. Enjoyed it. Met people I had not seen for years. Did not do any touring because I have been there five times before, just loafed about, went out for lunch and went to a barbeque. Looking at the latest DFDS offers, I am now considering a return to France next month. I am stewarding on a ths in Darley Dale in a couple of weeks time. VW brilliant and as I felt unwell on the return trip (tired as been up all day) so I pulled in to a layby, got the bed out and the pillows and got my head down. The joys of a camper van.

 

I'm glad that you are happy with your camper. It sounds to be ideal for you, especially if you are doing weekends and short breaks. If you have always had caravans previously you will find it somewhat different. I think you can get so much more out of a weekend with a camper than a caravan. If you are going to a caravan park you don't need to go straight there, it's easier to do something on the way. If your pitch is booked there's no urgency to get on it. Going home we found easier as well, arrive anytime and no problems with neighbours' cars on the estate. In fact we have rarely bothered with weekends with a touring caravan but did loads when we had a camper.

I am curious about the packing up and emptying that you mentioned. We always have everything we need in our van apart from fresh food and some clothing. But I do know of people who bring everything out of the house, crockery, cutlery, kettle, bedding, you name it. To me that is too much like hard work.

By the way I think a camper will be much easier on the roads abroad if you are solo. Also you will find the French very tolerant about overnight parking.

Best of luck with your new van.

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Latest news. I've booked the ferry and red pennant for a trip via Calais next month. Not sure yet whether to head for Bien Assise (which I love) or hit the aires, it could be a combination of both.


Sounds like you've found what works for you,which is what it's all about. Out of interest,is it a long or short wheelbase VW?

 

SWB. LWB would be marginally better but fine for me.

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Back again. Enjoyed it. Met people I had not seen for years. Did not do any touring because I have been there five times before, just loafed about, went out for lunch and went to a barbeque. Looking at the latest DFDS offers, I am now considering a return to France next month. I am stewarding on a ths in Darley Dale in a couple of weeks time. VW brilliant and as I felt unwell on the return trip (tired as been up all day) so I pulled in to a layby, got the bed out and the pillows and got my head down. The joys of a camper van.

Great job colonel and very well done for finding the perfect solution. Long may you enjoy your touring holidays. Good luck mate. Richard

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I'm glad that you are happy with your camper. It sounds to be ideal for you, especially if you are doing weekends and short breaks. If you have always had caravans previously you will find it somewhat different. I think you can get so much more out of a weekend with a camper than a caravan. If you are going to a caravan park you don't need to go straight there, it's easier to do something on the way. If your pitch is booked there's no urgency to get on it. Going home we found easier as well, arrive anytime and no problems with neighbours' cars on the estate. In fact we have rarely bothered with weekends with a touring caravan but did loads when we had a camper.

I am curious about the packing up and emptying that you mentioned. We always have everything we need in our van apart from fresh food and some clothing. But I do know of people who bring everything out of the house, crockery, cutlery, kettle, bedding, you name it. To me that is too much like hard work.

By the way I think a camper will be much easier on the roads abroad if you are solo. Also you will find the French very tolerant about overnight parking.

Best of luck with your new van.

Packing and unpacking, this time, just referred to the holiday stuff like where to put boxes of wine in a VW. Weekends are no problem because it's just a case of throwing some stuff at the fridge, bread and making sure that the dog's stuff is ok(heaven help me if I messed that up). Love driving it, high up and a smooth gearbox.

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Brilliant weekend. Good weather forecast so, Saturday morning, I threw a few things in the fridge and shot off to join a rally at Carsington Water in Derbyshire. I had the nous to book a late Sunday carvery for my return so all was sorted. Incidentally, my problems seem to have been mainly down to depression which a low dose pill has sorted. Hopefully, I have cracked it as loving the VW.

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